I love the black dog metaphor for depression. Whoever came up with it nailed it. He’s dark & a constant companion BUT he’s not always right by your side. Sometimes he trails behind far enough he’s not a complete pain in the ass.
This week he’s way behind me. I’m feeling my version of normal again. Thank Christ.
I do think there are some positives to the mutt. The first one is I think I’ve developed stronger empathy. I now know just how shit a human can feel & relate better to others having a hard time. I’m more aware of ‘touching base’ with people struggling & have done so recently with someone I’m not particularly close with, but have sensed they’re not ok & have been right. I don’t want anyone to ever feel alone. That no one cares. That they’re feelings are not important.
The second is realising my support network. First & formost is my hubby. He’s endured me more then anyone & still hasn’t wavered. He needs a god damn medal. Then I have a couple of incredibly close mates that always have my back. In fact, I’m pretty sure if I ever got to the stage of running naked screaming down the street, they’d be running right beside me with fireworks.
The last is when I have those ‘perfect’ life moments, I savour them. I embrace them. I really take it in – unlike I used to. Now I close my eyes & listen. I breath it in. I stop.
The picture for this blog was taken at the top of a lookout over looking a place called Dunns Swamp. This was my second trip up. First one I jogged & scrambled up myself from camp & sat drenched in sweat, puffing, just listening to the silence. Unreal. Decided I wanted to share it with hubby, jogged back & got him & we went up again. No kids, just us. Perfect moment.
There are so many more of these perfect moments to come. It’s certainly worth riding the shit out for them ✌️