You know how I said I believed the universe tries to teach us lessons? That it will keep trying until we ‘get it’? I think its been trying to tell me to just slow down. To appreciate ‘now’. I don’t have to do everything every day. I don’t need to try and work out my future so much. To stress about what I’ll be doing in 5yrs. All my thoughts have been consumed with thoughts about what we should do with the house, what I will do when Ash starts school, will I study or work days again, what will happen with my Mum, etc.
Last night I rocked up to work and it was my first shift back with the girl that lost her sister. After hugging her and seeing just how broken she looked, I ran into another co-worker who had just lost her Dad. Talking to her, all my emotions came to the surface. She lost her Dad in a similar way to the way I did – after days sitting by his side in palliative care. I think only those who have watched a loved one slowly pass can know just how that feels. Her opening up to me, and then with me telling her that I had been through the same, made us both emotional. But its a good emotional in a way. Its nice to have someone that has gone through the same as you to relate too. The trifecta was finding out my work had been held up earlier that day. Whilst I wasn’t there – I know the person who was held up by the idiot I used to go to school with, and she didn’t deserve that. She must have been terrified. I cant imagine how she would have been feeling after going through that.
So these 3 things in one shift got me thinking – why am I so concerned with the future all the time? Sure, we need to think ahead, but what if thinking about tomorrow is taking my today?
Today I tried hard to just take it bit by bit. Take it all in. Be in each moment. Slow down. I think that’s what I am learning when I read all these books and blogs about living ‘the simple life’. That simple is better. Slower is better.
I had my pre-schooler help me bake cookies, do the washing, collect fire wood, etc. After lunch she laid with me and had a perfect nap. Then after school pick up, I could sit and read with my eldest because I had popped a roast in the slow cooker earlier in the day. Even though I’m starting early tonight, I don’t feel rushed. Today’s been a good day ✌️