I’ve always wanted to do this & there’s nothing on tv…
Dear youngin’ Tish,
Here are a few pointers that I have come to learn or realise during our 33yrs on this earth that might help you in the future.
* Those mates you have now? Cherish them. Some of those girls you muck around with at school will get you through the hardest times of your life. They, along with newer but just as crazy mates, will also be terrible influences on you 😉 but you’ll create amazing memories with them. Those memories will literally make you giggle for decades. Having mates who know you & your history like you’re sisters makes life so easy.
* One day you will be at a pool with school & there will be a giant inflatable slide. If you’re climbing & it starts deflating JUST LET GO. You will be scarred for life that you kept trying to climb it. In front of your year. With a giant wedgie.
* Cherish your Dad. Sit with him on the verandah EVERY chance you get. Take in his stories, his laugh, his humour & above all his love & compassion for you. You’re going to butt heads a lot growing up, but no one will have your back like your family & he is pivitol in it. Around the age of 13 you’ll start to kiss him goodnight & goodbye every time you leave him. You’ll never stop that until your final kiss goodbye and you’ll never regret it.
* Don’t shave your eyebrows. No it won’t work. Yes people will notice.
* Try not to worry so much about people liking you. Especially boys. You don’t have to have a boyfriend to feel validated or worthy. From the age of around 13 you’ll have a back to back boyfriend forever. Stop. Take a breath. A couple of those boys will be worth it, the others not & you already know it. You don’t need them to feel secure. You are amazing without them. Please invest in ‘you’ & not ‘them’.
* NEVER get a credit card. When you leave school a bank will offer you a $4000 one & you’ll max it on shit within 6mths. Like maccas. You will literally sign a receipt for a cheeseburger meal. You don’t look grown up. You look like a dick.
* When you hit 18 you’ll spend all your money going out & sleeping. You know what? Don’t change this. THIS is your time to burn off steam & have no real responsibility. Life gets a lot harder with a mortgage & kids. Go crazy. Do stupid stuff. No matter what happens you have mates (both guys & girls) that will always have your back & keep you safe. These years will be some of the best & most carefree.
* Please don’t leave your letters to & from your mates lying around. Your Dad WILL read one & freak the f*ck out. What comes next will be a VERY awkward conversation & him bringing around a female family friend to talk to you about sex.
* Don’t stress so much about the future. Follow the saying ‘everything will work out’ cause it really does. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
* One day you’ll embark on a solo 3 day hike. TAKE TRAIL NOTES & READ THEM. This will save an extra full day of walking & a sleep in a foil blanket.
* You’ll know when you meet the ‘right’ boy. He’ll be your balance. What you struggle with, he’ll pick up & vise versa. At times he’ll annoy the shit out of you but you’ll know deep down that he’s the one. He will see you through the hardest times of your life & never waiver. He will make you laugh every day. He will tolerate your girls night hangovers & random mind explosions. But mostly, like no one that came before him, & even when he doesn’t pick up his shit, deep down you will always know he’s your soul mate.
* If a mate ever offers you a ‘cookie’, don’t eat it & for the love of god definitely don’t eat two & a half. Although the loss of 6hrs of your life will make a good story down the track … Don’t. Just stick to booze.